


Suffering

by Jaybeesaur



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blind and Deaf, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15911163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaybeesaur/pseuds/Jaybeesaur





	Suffering

A simple apology stamped onto skin. Delicately traced, accented by tears splashing on impact. A dimpled laugh, the painful chuckle. Harsh reality settling in. He signed into his hand once more, though he knew the message would never be received. Dean was gone. There was nothing special left in those cloudy eyes. A hollow and guilty feeling rushed into his stomach. He wanted to vomit. This is the worst part of being a human.

 

Loss. So much sorrow. So much anguish. So many emotions too complicated to name, mixed and potent. Swirling. Breathing was difficult. Throat closing, similar to anaphylaxis. Hyperventilation, panic. The world tilting on its axis. He could feel it. Spinning, spinning, spinning too fast. Suddenly stops. As if the world felt his heart and mourned with him crashing to a halt.

 

Desire. A deep want, a deeper need. _Please, come back. I already miss you._ Grasping his form, pulling it close. Desperation. Searing helplessness.

 

Anger. Yelling into the streets of the world that had wronged him. It was only an accident. Why? _Why?_ How can something so simple result in this? A malfunction.

 

Loneliness. Emptiness borrowing in the longer that siren blared in his ears. He will never stop hearing that noise. A wire crossed on a street light caused this. An insignificant mistake gone unnoticed by an apprentice electrician.

 

Guilt. He trusted Castiel to lead him across that street. He was Dean’s eyes and ears. Never saw the sedan that stole the most important thing in his life from him. He thought they were safe. The crosswalk signal was green. He should have looked again before taking that step.

 

Blame. Assigned only to himself, by himself. A burden to carry for eternity.


End file.
